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.Baptist (fundamentalism) 2: Shit happens because the Bible says so.Baptist (southern): Shit will happen. Praise the lord!Behaviorism: Shit is conditioned to happen.Born Again-ism: Shit Happens, but I am saved.Buddhism 1: If shit happens, it is not really shit.Buddhism 2: If shit happens, it isn’t really happening TO anyone.Buddhism 3: Shit will happen again to you next time.Buddhism 4: What is the sound of one shit happening?Buddhism 5: Shit will happen to you again.Buddhism 6: Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will have salvation.Calvinism 1: Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.Calvinism 2: Shit is predestined to happen.Calvinism 3: If you’re not saved, tough shit.Canine-ism: Shit happens in the neighbor’s yard.Cannibalism: Don’t eat the shit.Capitalism 1: That’s MY shit!Capitalism 2: If you’re going to sell that shit, at least make a profit.Capitalism 3: How much is that shit?CargoCult: A barge will come and take all the shit away.Catholicism 1: Our shit. ”A faint clunk sounded and my paranoia surged. Remembering many an assassin attacking from shadows and ambush, and even from places of lust, I swung around and saw that the doors had been locked and barred. Two women, each as lovely as Bridgette, stood there without a scrap of clothing upon their bodies. Their breasts were smaller than the high priestess, but they made up for the lack with their own unique sensuousness. One was as dusky skinned as a Thanatosian, while the other was milk pale and red headed. Other shadowy forms emerged from the corners and I saw men as well as women stepping forward. The most that any wore was a garland of flowers, and even that was cast aside in wanton eagerness.There were a total of about fourteen other people, a mixture of men and women. All save for three were human, and those three were half elven. As they moved forward, hands caressed along my back and my chest as Bridgette murmured against my lips, her breath hot against my face. “Come now. Join.
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